Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
