He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
