you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
