I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
