he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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