I'm going to jail i love you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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