I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
