Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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