im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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