P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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