I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Small penises have feelings too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
