I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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