loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
