But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
