Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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