We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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