i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
