Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
