hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wish there were birth control emojis
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
