If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it hurts more in the daytime
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
