i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
