i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize