Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
