I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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