taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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