apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
