Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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