Plan B is the new Plan A
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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