dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
