i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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