Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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