why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
