zippers are such a cool invention
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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