I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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