absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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