my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
