dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
