I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
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True strength comes from lack of pants
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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