I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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