He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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