ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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