Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize