not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
