his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
