Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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