it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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