guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
