Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
