And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He shit in the fireplace
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
