So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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