Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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