Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
