Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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