how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize