Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
