So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
