I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she looked like the before picture.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
