Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
