Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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