Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
