Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
