I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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