Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
